The Praying Yankee Fan: Oxymoron or Just Plain Moron?

by Eric Hancsak
October 17, 2005

Have you ever seen a Yankee fan pray? It's quite a site. I imagine it's like watching Bill Gates beg for spare change.

During this year's baseball playoffs, the New York Yankees were quickly and uneventfully eliminated in the wildcard series by the Anaheim (I refuse to type their full name) Angels. During the tv broadcasts, particularly in the late innings, it was easy to spot the praying fans. They were everywhere. My guess is, it was something like, "Hey, Yo God. Please let Jeter hit another homa soz we can go to the World Series again."

The Yankees finished the season with a payroll of around $200 million, while other major league teams topped out in the mid-30's. They have an all-star at almost every position. They are the winningest sports franchise in the history of professional sports, although the Montreal Canadiens are right on their tail. Their former and current roster is a who's-who of greats and hall-of-famers. They even had a government resolution declaring their greatness (106th Congress, 1999). Yet with all this, they pray for more.

But I'm not here to rip the Yanks; although, it is fun to kick a little dirt in Goliath's face. I am here, on behalf of God, to tell you people to stop it. Stop wasting God's time with your incessant requests for another trophy. He's got enough on His plate. Plus, it makes you look greedy. And, as I'm sure you know, God doesn't like greed.

I should also tell you that somewhere around 1977, after your 20th or so championship, He stopped listening anyway. "They don't need my help anymore." He said. "Time to concentrate on the Pittsburgh Steelers."

So please, Yankee fans, enough with the praying. Leave that to the people who truly need His help. At this point, all you are doing is clogging the lines and giving His intern an ulcer. You should see all the messages on His desk.